When helping others hurts me

Chris and I work with orphans, sick people, and generally people in need. We do what we can to help. Okay, mostly it is Chris doing it because I am home with the kids, but I join in when I can. There is a book that has been popular for a while in the circle of humanitarian groups and other aid organizations. This book, called, "When Helping Hurts," describes the phenomenon that happens when people with very good intentions try to help in the best way they know how, but that help actually ends up doing a lot of damage, usually in the way of causing a dependence in someone that needs to learn independence. We have seen this happen many times, and, unfortunately, we have been on the causing end of it a time or two (unfortunately, we have not yet perfected the art of helping people). But what I want to write about is a little different twist on that; something else we have also experienced. Sometimes, when you try to help other people, you are the one that ends up getting hurt. I'm not talking about the sacrifices that we are called to make as Christians to lift others up: things like living with less money, or less personal space, or less "me" time. I'm talking about when someone genuinely and purposefully hurts you after you have done your very best to help them. This doesn't happen often, but when it does, it feels like, as Steve Carrel says in Get Smart, a sucker punch to the gonads. It's just plain hard to get over, because no matter how many dollars or tears or sleepless hours you have spent on that person, to them, you are only as good as the last "yes" or "no" you gave in response to a request for help. And since "no's" are bound to come sooner or later, you are destined for failure in that person's eyes. To use another movie quote, "you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Thank you, Harvey Dent. Again, I want to say that many people we work with are very appreciative and we feel so honored to be doing the work we are doing, but those things don't take away the sting of these burns. So what do I do with these moments of extreme discouragement? When God says to love Him and love others above anything else I do with my life, but that love leads me into pain, how do I continue to let love guide me? Sometimes, I have to let it guide me not only to people who need it, but to people who have it to offer. Sometimes I have to let love guide me to the people that love me the most, so that I can experience something closer to the love that God has for me. Sometimes I have to think about not only how to build sustainable works that will provide for people in need, but also about how to build a life that I can sustain myself. If my life here is not sustainable for me, then I will end up going home, and no one here will receive my help anymore. I never ever want to turn my back on anyone, because God is always able to redeem. I just have to recognize that one drowning person cannot rescue another. Let me get on the life boat that is being offered by people who love me, and when the drowning person is interested in being saved, and not just causing others to drown, I will be available to offer my hand.